Leaving Jordan today, I had two main feelings: disbelief and satisfaction. Disbelief that this semester flew by so quickly. Disbelief that I actually made it through this study abroad period. Having lived in Amman for three and a half months I am definitely ready to leave. I have learned so much about this region and culture, but I feel that if I stayed here any longer I would not be gaining a lot in terms of learning new things about the culture or region. To learn more I would have to move to either a neighborhood in the poorer section East Amman or to another Arab city such as Damascus for a more comparative analysis of the city.

Throughout most of the day I have also been expectedly reviewing the experiences that I have had over the past semester. Thankfully, I really have no regrets. Reading a letter I wrote to myself at the beginning of the semester, I realized that I had achieved all of the goals I set for this semester. I have certainly improved my Arabic as I am now conversational and able to read the language. I was able to see the “other” perspective.

By doing things such staying with a Bedouin and having interviews at the headquarters of the Muslim Brotherhood, I took chances and advantage of the various opportunities that being in this region can only offer.

For all going abroad next semester, this last weekend of your stay is what you all should have in mind. There will be tough points; however, thinking about the amazing feeling of satisfaction that comes at the end of the year from realizing you have made the most your study abroad experience helps you get through the tough and trying times. This was certainly the case for me, for as I leave Jordan, I feel completely satisfied.

With only two days left in our Middle Eastern stay and with our classes having finished, my program spent today and yesterday in Aqaba, Jordan’s Red Sea resort city. Throughout the past month Amman has been quite cold with the average temperature hovering around the low 40’s; however, right on the Red Sea, Aqaba’s average temperatures are about 30 degrees higher than Amman’s. Luckily, the weather did not disappoint one bit.

I found myself comfortably wearing shorts during the afternoons of both days. Just like the weather, the water of the Red Sea was very warm and comfortable. The afternoon of our second day was amazing as we hung out on a boat all day and snorkeled. While the Middle East may not be the first thing that pops into one’s mind when thinking about destinations for snorkeling, it actually has amazing coral reefs and sea life. The views that I saw below the surface were simply breathtaking.

Another very cool part of the boat ride was the fact that from where the boat was anchored in the Red Sea you could see Israel, Jordan, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia all from the same spot. The Four Corners of America’s Southwest had nothing on this sight and experience.

After spending a full day in the sun and water, my group and I enjoyed the night life of Aqaba.

Aqaba’s nightlife certainly caters to foreign tourists and the more liberal minded members of Jordanian society. For example, there are many alcohol stores. In addition, night clubs dot every corner with some being a little shadier than others. Having not seen any belly dancers since we had been in the Middle East, my friends and I decided to go and try to find a club in Aqaba that had some; however, the place that we were told to go to was a little sketchy. The belly dancer, a Russian, was not that good. I wasn’t that surprised though as I was told the only good ones were in Damascus and Cairo. Either way though, the sketchiness of the club made the story a fun one. After this we went back to our rooms ready to return to Amman for our last day in Jordan.

With only a week left in my stay in Jordan, I found myself leaving for the last time the villa where my classes have taken place this fall. At this villa, there is a very cool view of the eastern part of Amman and its buildings. Gazing at this view for the last time, I reflected on how differently I perceive this view as compared to the first I saw back in the last week of August.

Looking at it for the first time, the view just seemed so foreign. All of the buildings were the same boxed shaped while minarets popped up hear and there throughout the skyline. This was simply architecture I was not used [to]. Additionally, I had no idea what the streets and people below these buildings were like. How did they interact with each other the streets? Were the streets dirty or clean How did Arab families interact with each other inside the apartment buildings that I could see Because I had arrived in Amman the night before, I simply did not know what the feel of an Arab street or neighborhood was.

Now having lived in an Arab city for three and a half months, I feel as though I am looking at a different picture when gazing from my school’s villa even though the view has not changed. When I first looked at the view, all I saw were buildings, but now I see more than the buildings as I know what is going on below and in them.

For example, I know that I would likely see a minor fender bender if one of the streets were visible. I would also know that even if the street were visible, I would still probably not be able to see people on the side walks as they would most likely be covered with the overgrown olive trees that dominate the side walks. If I were to go into one of those apartments, I know I would be offered tea the second that I walk in. These facts are what makes studying abroad so great as it allows you to look at a picture from a country you traveled in and be able to see more than is in it.

As a study abroad student it is impossible for taxis to not be a large part of stay here. Without a car and with the buses being a little too confusing and chaotic, I have had to use taxis for wherever I need to go; however, I am glad of this fact. Unlike in major American cities, the taxi fares in Amman are very good as a twenty minute ride is about $1.50. Additionally, the taxi drivers are usually very nice people. Only two or three out of the 100 or so that I have used since being here have been skeezy in terms of either taking me on a very roundabout route or overcharging me.

Additionally, riding in taxis has enabled to practice my Arabic much more frequently as the drivers always engage in conversation with me as they always think that I am Arab initially. I can now explain, quite well in Arabic, how I have liked my Jordanian study abroad experience. This was certainly a slow process as in September I could only state to the drivers where I wanted to go and tell them right, left, straight, and here; however, now I can have actual conversations with the drivers for the entirety of the drive – even when they last for twenty or thirty minutes. This fact even got me a free ride as one taxi driver would not even take my money on account of his being so impressed by my ability to speak the language.

Riding in taxis rather than buses also connects you with the city more as you are on the same level of the other automobiles on the road (save the Range Rovers, pick-up-trucks, and buses). The only big piece of advice I would give for those riding in taxis in Amman though is keep your hands and elbows in the car! It’s fine to roll down the window on a hot day, but Jordanian drivers frequently choose to ignore the lane markings on the road and often drive quite closely together. Either way though, taxis are certainly an aspect of Jordan that have added to the enjoyment and productiveness of my study abroad experience.

Tonight, I think I gained a true understanding for how much the government of the United States is really despised in this region, and also how hard of a task it will be to repair our image in the Middle East. This occurred while my host father and I were watching BBC World.

When a clip about a bombing in an Iraqi marketplace came on the screen, it caused my host father to say that “this is all the fault of the United States.” Now, I was fervently against the war in Iraq and blame my government for unleashing the chain of events that have lead to the country’s current chaos; however, I could not agree with the statement made by my host father.

In reply to his statement, I asked him how the Americans could be blamed for the violence occurring in Iraq when car bombs and guns used by either Arabs or proxies of Iran, not cruise missiles fired from American battleships, are now causing the vast amount of carnage that is consuming Iraq. Having constantly been asking myself why Arabs do not protest against the Arabs that are killing their fellow Arabs, I was glad that this topic of conversation came up between the two of us. My host father’s response to the question was “as long as America is in Iraq, it will be blamed for whatever is occurring in the country.”

In my eyes this answer was not good enough, but at the same time it allowed me to see and truly understand the Arab perception of the American government. Because of its past interactions with the region’s politics, anything that goes badly in the Middle East is blamed on the United States, even if it is a Shiite militia funded by Iran that blows up a car bomb in a market populated by Sunnis.

A recent political cartoon in Al-Ghad, Jordan’s largest newspaper, illustrated well the Arab impression of America as it had the outlines of Iraq, Palestine, and Lebanon standing up individually with smoke billowing out the sides of them just as though they were the World Trade Center towers.

Now once again, I am not saying America has not had any hand in [messing] this region up. It certainly has, and the anger I have seen in regards to America’s invasion of Iraq and its support of Israel has not surprised me. I expected that and understand it. What has surprised me though is the way that Arabs look the other way when Arab actors, whether it be Nasrallah in Lebanon or Baathist insurgents in Iraq, are the ones responsible for the current violence and chaos besieging many of the countries in the Middle East.

Arabs need to follow the lead of African-Americans by doing a gut check and begin denouncing “Arab on Arab” violence.

Two days ago I finally volunteered for the first time while in Jordan as my friend and I helped an NGO set up for a crafts fair that they were holding the next day. Most of the work we did consisted of heavy lifting; however, this journal entry is not about my volunteering, rather it is about the development campaign in Jordan.

Sponsored by the NGO that is funded by the office of Princess Basma, the crafts fair that was held the following day was set up as a way for various artisans from all across Jordan to sell goods ranging from ceramics to olive oil. The fair seemed very much akin to the mindset and purpose of the 10,000 Villages chain of shops that is spread throughout various cities in the United States.

Jordan Fair Trade signs were spread all throughout the store. I was very impressive by both the quality of the goods being sold and the amount of people that attended. Additionally, Princess Basma also attended; however, this did not help my enjoyment of the fair as her arrival caused it to become quite crowded and chaotic. With this having gone on for about 20 minutes or so, the rest of my experience was quite a positive one (I even bought a few things!).

One aspect I liked about this event too was that it also allowed me to interact a bit with the development community here in Jordan. Much money is being pumped into this country by US AID; however, it does not seem to be creating a great bang for all the bucks being sent here. There is a lot of development on the surface, but once you examine things a little further you find not much progress is being made.

For starters, the economic structure of the country, based firmly on patronage and connections, has not changed that much. In addition, the dynamism needed if Jordan’s economy is really going to develop and take off is simply not there; however the country seems to be in a state of denial, a fact best evinced by the government’s belief that Jordan will become the IT hub of the Middle East. Possessing a well educated population, Jordan would appear on the surface to have the capability to prove this belief true; however, the IT industry requires ingenuity and dynamism. India certainly has, but from my experience, Jordan does not. Due to these facts, the great amounts of development assistance the country receives will create only marginal improvements.

While there have been some minor American holidays such as Labor Day, Columbus Day, and Halloween that I have missed, the only major one that I will have missed while being in Jordan is Thanksgiving; however, my program mates and I did not let the holiday pass like any other normal day. Instead we had a Thanksgiving dinner at an apartment that five of the students in my program are staying at.

The meal was complete with every staple as we ate turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie. Everybody made something for the dinner. At home my dad always makes sticky buns for dinner at my grandparents, so I figured I would add that dish to the food we had for our dinner in Jordan.

Making the sticky buns was quite fun. It was the first baked good that I had really ever made before; however, my dad’s instructions made the task much easier than I thought it would be.

The night before our dinner, I made the dough for the buns while in the same some kitchen, some of my friends prepared the food they would make the next day. The next morning I woke up around and 10 and started making the sticky buns around 11 o’clock. Once I finished those, I left for the apartment to have dinner.

I obviously felt different having a Thanksgiving meal without my family. Considering the situation though, this was the perfect way to spend the holiday. All the food turned out amazingly. As I bit into my sticky bun, I got the familiar taste that let me know it was Thanksgiving. The only thing that the setting needed was a football game on TV. While I certainly have enjoyed learning about the culture of Jordan, it is great to be able to transport some parts of America here.

For some reason, powerful and famous politicians are much more accessible in Jordan than compared to the United States. For in the past week, I have been able to interview a former Foreign Minister and a former speaker of the parliament.

My interview with Dr. Jawad Anani, the country’s former Foreign Minister came first. This was certainly a very cool experience. All around his house were pictures of him standing with various world leaders such as Khomeni, Yasser Arafat, President Clinton, King Hussein, and King Abdullah. Lasting about three hours, our conversation ranged from politics and history to cinema. During the interview, I was able to understand the thought process possessed by the King and his closest advisors. More or less, they are realist minded politicians who base their decisions on preserving their power rather than on emotion or ideology.

I also had the chance to discuss to Israeli-Palestinian conflict with him, something that he has good perspective on since he was the Minister of the Peace Negotiations between Jordan and Israel. Interestingly, he believes that Israel does not want peace because he believes it is not in their interest as he predicts that a two-state solution would only lead to the Arabs demanding even more land. In addition, I also threw some conspiracy theories at him to get his opinion. For example, he agrees with the assertion that the Bush I administration wanted Saddam Hussein to invade Kuwait, so that they could have a war with him.

Overall, the interview was more like a relaxed conversation, a conversation that I will not forget until quite some time.

A few days later I was able to interview Dr. Abdul Latif Arabiyatt, the former speaker of the Jordanian parliament. Because of Dr. Arabiyatt’s personality, this interview was more formal and structured. Also, unlike Dr. Anani, Dr. Arabiyatt was a member of the opposition as he was the former secretary-general of the Islamic Action Front. His interview gave me a good insight into what the Islamists view of the Hashemite monarchy in Jordan.

Currently, the IAF views itself as being punished for following the rules of the game Dr. Arabiyatt continuously voiced his support for democracy and believed that his group was being unfairly suppressed by the monarchy simply because it is the greatest political threat the regime faces; however, Dr. Arabiyatt still believed that the strategy of the group should be to follow the democratic [process].

Getting the perspectives of these two leaders was quite enlightening.

For the past two weeks I have certainly had a less structured daily routine compared to my earlier months in Jordan. Currently I am engaged in the Independent Study Project stage of my study abroad program. This entails doing a lot of independent research for a 30-40 page paper that is due the last week of my program.

My research is required to be more field-based. Rather than reading books in the library, my program wants me out getting my information from primary instead [of] secondary sources. In some ways, I feel a little more stressed in this period, and in other ways I certainly feel less stressed. The average time I usually wake up now is around 10:30am. This is definitely a nice change compared to when I had classes as I would have to get up around 7:45am.

My days are centered around the interviews I have scheduled. Usually they occur between 11 and 1. The fact that the majority of my research and information comes from interviews can make this time a little stressful as the onus to get these interviews is all on me.

Recently, I have been spending much time on my cell as I try to make contacts and setup interviews. Once I have setup the interview, I then have to make sure to confirm it the day before. In addition, I also have to worry about coordinating and finding a translator for many of my interviews; however, I have definitely picked up many important skills throughout these past two weeks with the most important being that I now I am quite comfortable interviewing people. The difference between my first and most recent interview is amazing as I now find myself not needing to look at my list of questions and easily coming up with many pertinent interview questions.

When I do not have interviews, I find plenty of stuff to occupy my free time. Sometimes, I do some extra reading to supplement my research. Other times I will review my vocab flashcards for Arabic. In addition, I like to just lounge in my family’s living and watch the TV. Usually I will watch the English language stations; however, other times I like to watch the Arabic stations to practice my understanding of the language. I am certainly enjoying the change of pace the ISP period has brought, as I am productive without being stressed at the same time.

As I have mentioned before, my last month in Jordan is being spent doing research on the relationship between Jordan’s main Islamist party, the Islamic Action Front, and the Hashemite monarchy. The bulk of my research is being done through interviews. So far I have interviewed various elites that range from the country’s former foreign minister, a few journalists, and the head of the country’s main secular party; however, today I went straight to the source of my research as I engaged in interviews today at the offices of both Muslim Brotherhood and the Islamic Action Front, which is more or less the political wing of the Brotherhood.

I was both very excited and very intimidated by this occasion, for while I know that being an Islamist does not necessarily make one a terrorist by any means, I still had the idea going into my head that I was going into the offices of the political movement that the United States deems as the world’s greatest post-Cold War threat.

My first meeting was in the office of the Muslim Brotherhood, and was actually not an interview. Rather it was an informational meeting where I was to be screened by the head of the organization’s information department. My first encounter with a member of the party did not help to calm my nerves as I was confronted by a guard of the organization interrogating me about my business with the organization; however, was I gave him my student ID he became much more amicable.

As I walked up the stairs of the building (the organization’s headquarters are in the same building of the Islamic hospital that they run) I was a little shaken by the environment. Not only were the walls of the organization covered by posters glorifying ideas and people that were viewed as entirely extremist in the United States, but also the office was very chaotic and filled with many people as a large press conference had just finished.

Once I walked into the office I was greeted by Yehya Shaqra, a very friendly man in his late 60’s with whom I had set my appointment up with the day before. My meeting with him went very well as he approved my questions and agreed to set up an interview for me. In addition, he also gave me many internal IAF documents that would further aid me in my research. Following this meeting, I headed to the office of the Islamic Action Front, which was unsurprisingly only a short walk away.

At the Islamic Action Front headquarters, I had an interview with the party’s vice president, Dr. Ruhayl Gharaibeh. Compared to the Muslim’s Brotherhood’s, this office was much more spartan and quiet. There were a few posters here and there, but those were the only main decorations in the office space. Expectedly, my interview with Dr. Gharaibeh was very interesting. I asked him many questions regarding political Islam that had always been in the back of my mind. For instance I questioned him about whether there is any inherent economic policy in political Islam. He responded that the party believed Jordan should follow more traditional Arab models rather than privatization being set forth by the International Monetary Fund.

Either way, it was weird to think that I was speaking with an Islamist. With a normal looking beard, dressed in a Western style suit, Dr. Ruhayl appeared like any other politician. After my meetings today, I saw that while political Islam is an ideology that I certainly do not agree with, I did learn that it is a movement that can be worked with.